Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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