he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
