There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
