Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
