Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
