Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
