Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
