Porn is love you can see.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We were destined to go to rehab together
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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