Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize