Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
