after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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