at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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