the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i believe in u and ur pee
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
