I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
