why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
