For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
