Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
