i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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