We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
