Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
this hospital has no fireball
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
