He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
