My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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