I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
