and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
