you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
