It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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