i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
