we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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