awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
