I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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