it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
