I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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