It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
