Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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