i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
