Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize