My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
