A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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