you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
