Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
