i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
