Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
