so let's talk penis.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
