So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
