The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
