Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
