Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
then he tried to convert me to islam
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
