one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I don't think brook has ever known best
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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