I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
