I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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