Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
