Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Soap is not a condiment
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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