____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
