We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i think i just lost a toe
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
