the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
