I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
