that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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