Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
