omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
