so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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