yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
