all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
