It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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