margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
