Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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