i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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