Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I got inside last night via doggy door
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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