I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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